I woke up in the morning, made a coffee substitute with artificial sweetener, had a couple of sandwiches with margarine and went to work. Bought a ticket from an electronic conductor substitute.
There was a nice surprise at work: we got a salary substitute. Decided to treat myself with a soup substitute with some tea substitute for lunch. Being well fed and full of joy, started on my PC a work substitute. Though after two hours of playing Solitaire our deputy director came to the office and gave me a punishment substitute.
In order to celebrate the salary decided to gather with friends substitutes, had some beer substitute, watched football surrogate… At night went to the bed, hugged a woman substitute. Somewhere at the back of my mind I thought it's time to have children substitutes. But realized that something is definitely going wrong.